I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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