Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
