yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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