drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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