I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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