if we break up, who will get the dealer?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
wow bdsm is so cute
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