the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
