I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
