Your dad touched me again.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
