My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
