My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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