he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize