Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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