Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
