just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
