dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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