Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
