remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
