It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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