Will you blow on my dice?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
