I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
