mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
