my vag is so smooth its legendary
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
