I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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