I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
