Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize