I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
