its not stalking. its research.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
