in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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