Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The Olympian is in my bed
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
