Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Randomize
