Cold hands, warm shart.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
