HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
