You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
