In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize