so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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