If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
