I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wish I only lived at night.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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