just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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