do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
