oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
