no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
