Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
PANTIES FOUND
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