when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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