what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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