I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
