and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
