No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
