Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize