Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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