First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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