So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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