Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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