are you still at the devil's house?
i barfeds in our rink
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize