Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
