We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
