her vagine was all disorganized.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm too high and old for this...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
