Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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