You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize