u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize