like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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